It was only last week that I struggled to see through the fog of sleep deprivation. So you could say I was slightly apprehensive at the thought of going it alone.
However when he left, all apprehension followed him out of the door.
I had planned for us to keep fairly busy. A group here and there, meeting up with friends, and making the most of the last days of summer, using the car as little as necessary, being outdoors, playing in the park.
Evan loves the outdoors, instantly calmed when he is being pushed around in the buggy. And being on the swings, well just look at that face, he's waving to daddy here....
In reality, there wasn't much of a change in our day to day, we usually do our own thing until we see The Janitor in the evening, unless we are lucky enough to have him pop back for a coffee break here and there.
But with Evan and me, I feel that somehow our bond this week has gotten deeper, our relationship stronger. We have had a really fun week, experienced new things together. We played in the splash pad, me getting more wet than any of the kiddies! We experienced new groups and walked aimlessly for hours. This is what its all about for me as Evans mama.
I have really noticed a change in him, he is slowly growing out of babyhood, understanding more, making new sounds, standing on his own, testing his abilities taking a couple of steps at a time, and he is more enthralled by music than ever before, waving his hands and shaking his head as soon as he hears a beat - I'm not sure where he got those moves from...
I have felt strong this week, mentally and physically. I have done something I didn't think I could do alone and I have done it pretty well. I am proud of myself and Evan. We make a good team, we work well together. I guess its a good job isn't it?!
Although sleep hasn't been great, I have somehow coped and done more than I have felt I could do in a long time.
Isn't it funny how things change so quickly. Motherhood really is a roller coaster.
So with only a few hours to go until we see him again, I am smiling and grateful for the beautiful week we have all had. And I am thankful to have my guy returning home.
I think after the way I was feeling last week, I needed this to reinstall my confidence in what I am doing as a parent and partner.
Maybe its what we need every so often, to go our separate ways, build ourselves up, strengthening our core. Rejoining to be a stronger network, recognising and respecting each other and what we bring to our family as individuals. Working on the things we don't always get right. And trust me, there are many.
Its easy to get weighed down with the day to day goings on of family life, a step back gives us time to reflect. Life is a work in progress. I am a work in progress.
We have missed The Janitor enormously and can't wait to see him tonight. Evan beams with delight when he hears his voice and sees his picture, I am looking forward to seeing their eyes meet again. I am looking forward to our eyes meeting again.
Mary Stevens Park
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